A Whole New World

Here I sit in my room, in a country I have never seen, talking with folks from all over the world whom I have never before met.  What a wonderful privilege.  God, through The Salvation Army, has blessed me with the opportunity to attend their International College for Officers in London, England.  For the next 8 weeks, I will be seeking to understand more.  I want to understand God more.  I want to understand the internationalism of The Army more.  I want to understand my self more.  As I have said before though, it seems that the more I learn, the less I know.  Nevertheless, I press on.  Through this forum, I hope over the course of the next 2 months, to reflect on some of what I encounter.

As part of our experience here, we have been informally paired up with another delegate with whom we will travel this journey.  I have been paired with Major Daniel Israel who is currently serving as a Divisional Secretary in the India South Western Territory.  Although I don't yet know him well, it appears that this will be a wonderful privilege for me.

I have to say though that this first day together has not been without challenge.  As I listen and attempt to speak to the other delegates, for many of whom English is a second language, I am having a difficult time.  I have always found communication enjoyable.  It is what I studied in College and has always been something that seemed to come easy.  It many ways, I have found definition and value through it.  During prayer this morning, because I was having such a difficult time, I even prayed that God would give me a divine presence that would help me miraculously understand and be understood better.  He didn't seem to want to do so, at least not in the way I had hoped.  It seems to be His desire to remove those things in which I have previously found security.

While I will be challenged in ways I have never before felt, I trust that He has a purpose for everything.  By the end of our prayers this morning, Major Julie Forrest had led us in the reaffirming hymn that calmed my heart:

He leadeth me! he leadeth me!
By his own hand he leadeth me;
His faithful follower I will be,
For by his hand he leadeth me.

And in particular, verse three spoke to me,

Lord, I would clasp thy hand in mine,
Nor ever murmur or repine,
Content, whatever lot I see,
Since 'tis my God that leadeth me.

Hopefully, when all is said and done, my understanding will go far deeper than any words . . .

My new friend, Major Israel Daniel

An Update on our "Agency"

I realize that it has been forever since I posted, so I wanted to give an update to the "crisis" I discussed in my last post.

I won't go on forever about it, but let it be said that "God truly is good!" His love endures forever. This corps is unbelievable and the people here are unmatched (in my experience) for kindness and unconditional love. At the end of the day, I don't care whether we end up called a church, an agency, a movement, a cult, or whatever. God is moving in ways I have never recognized before.

The staff member with whom I initially struggled with concerning our mission, has been one of our most valuable assets and has truly been a blessing to many. He often speaks of what God is doing, in private and in public!

People are being saved, board members and donors have been attending services, lives are truly being tranformed. At one board meeting when the issue of our "religious identity" came up in relation to our strategic vision, one board member made the statement that "people have known forever who we are and it hasn't seemed to bother them." Everyone agreed and THEY decided (without any input from me) to place the entire Salvation Army Mission Statement at the top of their strategic vision for this county.

The best part about what is happening here is that God is doing it in a way that makes it certain that it is of Him and not of us. May His Name be praised!

An agency that does church?

Tonight, my family and I celebrated the one week anniversary of our arrival in our new town. So, far it has been quite a roller coaster ride.

I must say that I am eternally grateful for all that was done by the officers who preceded us. They have done much to turn a large ship. Any thoughts I struggle with within the remainder of this post are not meant negatively toward them. The currents I sensed were, I am sure, a source of frustration for them as well.

I had to travel to a luncheon with one of our key staff members late in the week. Having just arrived at the office on Wednesday, I guess it could be considered early in the week.

Regardless, I decided to inquire about a document I had discovered in my digging through all that was left behind. It was a strategic plan for The Salvation Army of our county. It started with a mission statement that went like this: "Our mission is to meet human need without discrimination all for the love of God."

It seemed to me that this was something I wanted to know more about since we are scheduled to have a meeting about this document this week. I started be asking why half of The Army's mission statement was left off. The conversation quickly deteriorated from there. It ended with a couple of statements that shook me up. They didn't get to me because of their novelty, but because I couldn't believe I was actually hearing them from a key member of my staff.

The first was, "If you are going to see yourself as a pastor first, then you are never going to make it here." Later in the conversation, it became clear to me that what he and others may be looking for from the Army is to be a Social Service Agency that happens to do church. Obviously, I think this is horribly backwards.

It cannot be enough to help people just because we are nice people as a result of what Christ has done for us. If we discovered the cure to cancer and vowed to only live as healthy as we could without ever letting people know of the source of our cure, we would soon be disclosed as selfish egomaniacs.

It has been a while since I have served in a big city command, so I wondered if maybe I had missed something in the way we have to present the efforts of The Army to the community in light of funding. However, after much prayer and time in the Word, it has never been more clear to me that "God-given gifts are for the building of God's Kingdom, not mine." This is a wonderful truth learned from a friend of mine who was Promoted to Glory this weekend. Thank you for the perspective, Reverend G. Rod Taylor.

Having said all of this, after more time with this staff member, it seems to me that he loves the Lord. He may just be seeing things through a glass darkly. Please pray for him, and me, as God reveals to us both what He is up to here.

Falling Short

This may seem like a wacked out title, especially when you look at this photo, but bear with me for a minute. I had another dream last night that seems to have a point.

The last dream of my night, last night, found me shopping for something to celebrate Mother's Day. For some reason, I was looking for something in a Consignment Shop. After looking all around, I found an old photo album with pages made from cloth. It didn't seem too large at first, but with each page turn, it seemed to grow. I was surprised to realize that there were keepsakes from its former owner, still tucked between the fragile pages. I came to learn that their names were Harold and Carol. I encountered snapshots and newspaper clippings.

Then things got strange. Several pages in, as I gently turned the page, I realized that Carol was in the book. I don't mean she was there in pictures, she was actually lying between the pages! I froze for a moment. But then I realized that she wasn't dead at all. She had just been in a deep sleep. I turned another page or two and I found Harold. He too had been sleeping. It took some time for me to get them to wake up.

After a little while, I looked out behind the building and I saw that they had stepped out for a smoke. I figured I would see if they could help me understand what was happening. When I asked about their experience, they said that they had been in an extremely deep sleep, from which they were unable to escape. And in their dreams, they had no legs. They said that they had been trying to go where they thought they were supposed to go and they were trying to do what they thought they were supposed to be doing, but with no legs, they went nowhere and accomplished nothing.

Then I woke up.

It seems to me though that this is how most of the world feels on a daily basis. They are sleeping through life trying to go where they think they are supposed to go and trying to do what they think they are supposed to be doing. But in the end, they sense that they are going nowhere and accomplishing nothing, and yet they are powerless to change their plight.

And yet, we can give them their legs. We can introduce them to the One who created them. We can show them that He created them for a very real purpose. They have value and their life is no mistake. They are loved not because of what they do or where they go, but because of who He is. And then He gives them their legs, and shows them how to use them.

myspace.com - Crossroads of the double life

With all of the backlash about myspace, I wonder if it might end up being a blessing in disguise. So many of our teens testify that they have lived a double life. They are one person at school and someone totally different when they are around their "Christian" friends.

When they first started using sites like myspace, they assumed they were operating within their "school" world. And so, their sites reflected who they were at school. So, when we adults wandered in, the shock was two-fold. We were shocked at what we were seeing and they were shocked that we were looking.

Without realizing it, the two lives our teens were leading came to an intersection. They quickly realized that the spectators from both of their lives were mixed on the street corner watching to see who they would be when forced to merge those lives.

What we have seen following our recent Youth Councils is that many of our teens have begun to trust the Lord to make them teens of integrity. They desperately want to be the same person in all the settings of their lives. MySpace seems to have forced them to make a decision and the Holy Spirit is giving them the courage to make the right choice.

Please pray that He would continue to move with power. This generation is different and I can't wait to see what God is going to do through them.

The hunch I have though, is that the person they are at church may not be any less of a facade for them than the person they are trying to be at school. Pray that they would discover exactly who God created them to be and that they would have the courage to allow Him to make them into that person.

Do we take time to think?

I have been reading a great deal of blogs and forums lately. Many of the posts have been truly inspiring while others are merely entertaining as I learn more about the people who have been around me for years.

Within those countless posts, have been a few very involved debates on everything from "movies about gay cowboys" to "what is the basis of our faith" to "should The Salvation Army continue to view itself as an army." Some have been debates of religion, some have been political (unadmittadely by most involved - is that even a word?!) and some have been just plain silly (what would you do if you saw someone fall?) Apologies to any discussions I may have misrepresented in my titles - those are just what I came away feeling the discussion centered around.

Then I came upon this passage in my devotions this morning:

14But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

1In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 3For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

2 Timothy 3:14-4:5 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

And I came away realizing why I find myself so frustrated at times over what I am reading on-line. So often I have read comments that start with "I don't have time right now to look this up, but the Bible says somewhere that . . ." Or "I wish I had more time to think this through a little more thoroughly, but I don't, so I think I believe . . ." I have even caught myself saying some of these same things.

Ultimately, we end up with endless discussions based mostly on personal opinion or feeling. It is not often that our answers are totally in line with the Word of God.

Look out, here comes my personal discovery . . . This morning I realized that debates that I win based soley on my limitless wisdom (tongue-in-cheek) and personal insight typically leave me with a damaged relationship with the person I was debating. Whereas a discussion resolved directly from a correct handling of the Word of God leaves us both feeling as if we have found the truth without a loss in our relationship. I haven't fully processed this yet (althought I am attempting to take the time to do so), but it seems to me that this realization may be something that enables me to grow in my understanding of things without sacrificing those with whom I am growing.

I end with a couple of questions: Is this too simplistic of a way to think? Can all of the discussions we have been having be clearly resolved through scripture? Are we maybe moving so quickly from topic to topic that we don't ever really take the time to resolve our understanding of any of them?

Extreme Simplicity?

As I continue to explore the writings of Bonhoeffer, along with my regular times in the Word, much of what they practiced, as it relates to Finkenwalde, has begun to stir my soul. In particular, this idea of "Extreme Simplicity." During that same time, The Salvation Army, too, emphacized this important discipline. However, it seems that as time goes on, this discipline has certainly fallen by the wayside both individually and corporately. I must start by looking to myself as I sit and write surrounded by every modern convenience.

My mind races to what we may have lost in our pursuit of the comfortable and the convenient. Distractions! They are all just distractions from that which we are called to focus on!

As an Army we have fallen into this same trap. We spend so much time and energy keeping the hairball spinning, that we totally lose touch with the purpose for which we were raised. When we focus solely on functions of battle support, we cease to be the force who can achieve full victory on the battlefield. Support is a necessity, but the ultimate purpose of an Army is the fight!

So that's why!

My family and I were driving home from the Medina Corps tonight and my son, Jimmy (7) was reading some pamphlet on dolphins and the fact that they can't breathe under water. Well, eventually the conversation ended up with my daughter asking how sharks sleep considering that they have to keep moving in order to breathe.

An interesting question indeed. Any ideas? I had none. Jimmy, however, seems to have figured it out in short order. He declared that "they must not sleep, which would certainly explain why they are so cranky!" I haven't stopped laughing. I love kids. They can explain everything!

The Gathering . . .

In a collection of writings by Dietrich Bonhoeffer called The Way to Freedom, Bonhoeffer asserts that "it pleased the Holy Spirit to promise Himself not to the individual but to the gathering" (of the church). I wrestled with this because all of my life I have believed that a person could live a Christian life apart from being involved in the church. The church helps, but I thought when push came to shove that it was somewhat dispensible. It seemed to me that the most urgent need was for prayer and Bible study. And yet, all the while, I have been compelled by God to preach relationship with God and man as the ultimate purpose of our life. On a side note, it never ceases to amaze me that God can speak truths through people that they don't even fully comprehend themselves until long after.

In Acts 1:4, Luke reports that it was to the gathered assembly that Jesus promised the Holy Spirit. Further, it was while they were gathered together in one accord that God chose to send His Holy Spirit to fill them. Throughout the book of Acts, when we read accounts of the Holy Spirit filling people, we see it happening within the context of relationship. In some instances, it is a gathering of the church and in others it is a gathering of two, such as in the case of Ananias and Saul.

I guess the understanding has to start with a better grasp of the definition of church. I have always understood the church to be a group of believers who choose to be associated with each other. And in this culture, this may still prove to be an accepted definition. However, God defines the church as being all who have ever trusted in the Grace of Jesus regardless of whether they choose to associate with each other or not. When a person marries, he becomes part of the family whether he attends reunions or not.

God is recreating society, in its intended form, through, or within, the church. If we are to be in His will, we must be part of His new creation. It's not all about the body, but it is within the context of the body.

"24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Hebrews 10:24-25 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Riding the Wave

So there was this other dream I had. Actually, I had this dream some time ago, but it has never left me so I thought I would share it for whatever it is worth.

I was standing at the bottom of my parents' driveway in Massillon, OH. They live at the bottom of a small road that dead-ends into the road on which they live. For the mental picture, if you are standing there, the roads look as if they form an upside down T and you are standing right where they come together.

In my dream, there was a long line of garbage trucks coming from my left and turning to go up the small road in front of me. They just kept coming, one truck after the other. Out of the sides of the trucks, flowed huge amounts of that putrid, sewer-like water that you often see in the back of these trucks.

Along the sides of these trucks were scores of children who had figured out how to surf this swill. They seemed to be having the time of their lives. It was confusing, to say the least.

From my vantage point, I could see the drivers of the trucks. This went on for some time. They just kept driving, perfectly OK with the presence of the children. At one point, one driver glanced over at another one, and nodded his head, as if to say, "now is the time."

All at once, the drivers began to swerve their trucks in an effort to crush the children. Several had been killed before I could figure out what was going on. I panicked and began to scream with everything in me. I yelled and yelled at the drivers and the kids, but, as so often happens in a dream, nothing came out except a raspy whisper.

The kids seemed clueless to what was happening. They were so caught up in the fun they were having, riding the waves, that they didn't seem at all effected by the death they saw it leading to all around them.

I sat straight up in bed, in a cold sweat, and immediately began to pray that God would speak clearly to me. Needless to say, He did. The images were so stark that night. Kids (and adults) all around us are having their fun with the garbage of this world when all the while the enemy is just waiting to make his move. May we not wait for the glance of the driver before we scream out the dangers of the lives they may be living and the lives we may be endorsing in them by our own choices. May we not forfeit our souls, or theirs, for the sake of "entertainment" and "fun."

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."
Proverbs 14:12 (New International Version)

"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
Matthew 18:6 (NIV)

New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Holiness vs Grace?

What is love and what does it look like?

I've been wondering lately about the tension that seems to exist between holiness and grace within the church. If we try to live life to a higher standard, we are labeled legalists and declared to be out of touch with Grace and Mercy. And yet if we live life without the higher standard, we are very much missing out on the blessings of a holy life.

These thoughts were born out of this morning's worship service at the USA East School for Officer Training. Brigadier Clifton Sipley spoke on a video about his service as an officer and it struck me that he truly was a holy man; a man whose very life flies in the face of those who would declare that holiness this side of glory is nothing more than the life of someone with good intentions.

There have also been extensive discussions in the forums at CampNeosa.com in relation to the movies we choose to watch and the words we choose to use. Some have suggested that to question movie choices based on conviction is paramount to returning to the days of "Attendance at any and all movies constitutes sin." I don't think I am saying this, but I must admit that I do wrestle with this as what seems a reasonable approach to the entertainment choices of the 21st century.

The SFOT also serves as a convenient case study in human behavior and the judgment that can so easily be declared upon it. That's not meant as a shot at the SFOT, it just recognizes the realities of living in close community.

In the end, it became clear to me that God is not asking us to weigh each of our decisions throughout the course of a day against our WWJD bracelet. He is asking us to allow His Holy Spirit to change our heart.

A holy, changed heart will naturally look for reasons why a person may be acting outside of what may seem righteous before it seeks to condemn that person. A holy, changed heart, wants blessing to come to those around them.

A holy, changed heart wouldn't dream of watching a movie that would cause difficulty for a brother or sister in Christ even if it could defend how it was OK based on "freedom in Christ."

And yet, the temptation will remain for someone to create the exhaustive list of things a holy, changed heart would or would not do, which, if that could somehow promote holiness, would deem the need for holy, changed hearts unnecessary.

If we could only learn what love is.

Toe on the Line

Alright, a little insight into the name of my blog. I just got back a little while ago from playing basketball. I try to play a few times a week in the morning at a local rec center. They really are a great bunch of guys. The problem is that they really know how to play, and me . . . well, some of you have had the unfortunate luck to have had to witness that!

Anyway, the one thing I admire most about their game is their ability to shoot the 3 point shot. (Careful though, 3 point shots are a touchy subject for me right now due to the Cleveland Cavalier's inability to hit one lately - but I digress).

The point is, that every so often, I give it a go and try to launch one of those prestigious bombs. And just the time I actually sink one, I look down and realize that I had a "Toe on the Line."

My thoughts seem to follow a similar road. Just when I think I have hit a deep one, I notice my proverbial "Toe on the Line."

Pragmatism

Well, I got through vacation with limited success regarding the subject of my last post. However, God did help me recognize some stuff. I seem to be most consistent with my devotions and time with the Lord when something is coming up where I am going to need to lean on God for success. If I have an event approaching where I am preaching or I am specialling at a corps, I don't miss. But if there isn't anything scheduled, I slack off.

As I thought about it, it seemed to me that it may fall more into the category of pragmatism rather than a vibrant relationship. The more I thought about it, the more I came to recognize this in other areas of my life as well.

There is nothing like vacation to bring perspective. Praise God for his patience as I figure out this thing called life.

Loss of Routine

Well, we finally made it. Today we begin our long anticipated vacation. We didn't have much success in getting any scheduled throughout the year, so now we are off until the end of the year. I am very much looking forward to the rest.

Having said that, there is something that bugs me about vacation. I can never seem to stay consistent with my time with the Lord when I am on vacation. For whatever reason, I often find myself going many days without it.

My first assumption is that it is due to the loss of routine in my life for those days. Not getting up at a specific time and having demands that dictate order in my life, seems to have something to do with it.

But then that leaves me with the question of discipline. Do I have any? I begin to wonder, "if the loss of routine in my life causes me to not do the things most important to me, then am I exercising discipline on the other days (non-vacation) or is it merely a habit?" It seems to me that habits and discipline are very different things. Is discipline only necessary up until something becomes a habit? And once something becomes a habit, does it still hold significance or does it become something just done within a larger cycle of repetition?

Hmmm, let's see if this vacation can be different. I may not be able to answer all of these questions, but at least I will be in proximity to the One who can.

I've been tagged . . .

Apparently, I have been tagged. I didn't know that was possible, but it seems that it is. The rules are: write 5 random facts about yourself and then list the five people whom you, in turn, tag.

1. I love to sit outside (under roof) during a storm at night.

2. I live to humiliate my kids (in fun ways!)

3. I really enjoy sports (watching and trying to play).

4. I climbed Pikes Peak once (it took 9 hours!)

5. I have gone to Barry Manilow in concert . . . twice.

I tag: Sue, Katie, Emily, Tom and Susan.

Bibles and Blogs

"If I should die before I wake . . . "

It struck me this past Sunday that I may die. Well, it didn't go exactly like that. I was preaching and I asked the congregation to open their Bibles and mentioned that, despite what they may have been told all their lives, it was OK to mark in their Bibles. I couldn't believe the stunned look some of the older folks gave me! When I prodded, some admitted that they struggle with this instruction. So, I explained that the way I see it, when we die, our Bibles, marked with our underlinings and margin notes and names of people we were thinking about when we read certain passages and prayers, would be an invaluable gift left to those we love. At this point the oldest of the saints leaned forward to the Corps Officer and whispered, rather loudly, "I guess I'm in trouble!"

Then, when I returned home and thought about this blog, it occurred to me that blogs can become the same sort of blessing to those left behind. If I were to die today, my blogs, or xangas, or whatever we may call them (depending on where their posted, I guess) would give a pretty good picture of who we were and what we were thinking. I couldn't even imagine how incredible it would be to find my name written in my father's Bible because of his prayers for me.

I'm not planning on dying tonight, but if I do, it is my prayer that those I leave behind would know how much I loved them and how I loved my Lord. I guess this is a start.

Skating?

As I look outside and see the newly fallen snow, I find my mind returning to memories of skating gracefully and falling somewhat less than gracefully on "The Resevoir," in Massillon, Ohio.

Upon joining the U.S. Army after High School, I quickly learned a new definition for the word skating. There, it meant sliding by without really doing much.

Personally, I have never had much success with the first description of skating. The second . . . well . . . we'll let that slide.

For whatever reason, in a recent dream of mine, I was riding on a skateboard. I say riding, because I don't think you can call sitting down on a moving skateboard skating. It was a strange dream. I was following my children who were riding their bicycles down the street. There was a great deal of traffic, but that didn't seem to phase any one of us.

It seemed as if we were riding for some time when we came up to a traffic signal and one by one we all filed into the turn lane in order to make a left-hand turn. Strangely, as I looked at where we were turning, there was no road, only a sidewalk. My oldest daughter, Katie, who is 12 turned with ease and was quickly followed by my youngest, Jimmy who is 7. Emily, 10, was next to go and planned on following. Emily started out across the busy intersection, but half way around the turn, her bike wobbled and she fell. I could see the cars coming and they didn't seem to even notice her. From my skateboard, I yelled with all my might (which, as you probably know, is tough to do in a dream!) "Emily, get up, there are cars coming! Get out of the road, Emily!" The cars got closer and I yelled louder. By now I was waving my arms wildly.

In a flash, several cars whizzed by and when I finally ran into the road, it was too late. Emily was gone. I screamed even louder and could do nothing but cry in the middle of the road. "Emily, please, wake up."

As you can imagine, I woke up in a start and could not calm myself down. I went to Emily's room and was over come with relief when I saw her intertwined with our Golden Retriever, Chloe in her bottom-bunk.

Relieved, or not, I certainly couldn't get back to sleep for some time. I decided to spend some time with the Lord in prayer about what I had just been through. "Why did I have this dream? Why Emily? Why didn't they see her and stop? Did they see her? Why did I just sit there and yell? This is my daughter, am I really that unwilling to put my life between her and the oncoming traffic?"

It wasn't long before the Holy Spirit began to gently show me that I do this everyday. Everyday I sit by idly as the world runs down His children. Whether it be my skating through life or just plain ol' cowardice, it isn't enough for me to sit and yell to them of the danger they are in. I must be willing to lay my life on the line, as He did for me. I must be willing to go into the traffic. The time is short. They are not promised safe crossing. He has given me eyes to see the danger they face. May He give me the courage and the resolve to give them more than lip service.

Slow Thoughts

It seems that the more I discover, the less I know. I just caught up with my teens at xanga and before I can fill my first page of posts, I learn about the grown-up's version. So here I am, hoping for some blogspiration. Thanks Carole and Drew for letting me in on the secret.

I have to say, regarding our teens, seeing what they write is a very real love/hate experience that I'm not convinced I was ready for. I even tried to follow some of them to their "MySpace" but I quickly realized that I was certainly not ready for that. I love them with all my heart and I am willing to walk on fire for them, but I'm going to have to be majorly prayed-up to traverse that cesspool.

The more I discover, the less I know.